People's judgment hold you back? Five insights to help ~
Silvia wrote to me: 'The fear of people's judgment paralyzes me or at least slows me down in my artistic expression. What to do?'
A recurring dilemma that afflicts even some accomplished artists. And I know the problem firsthand. As a teenager I was writing music but when it came to show on stage and sing I would go zero salivation! Finishing a song was a pain. I stopped making music despite some career opportunities.
You are not able to do it
At the contrary, since I was a child, showing my drawings was not a problem. Good or bad that my art was, people's judgment was none of my problem. And that despite one of my works was rejected in a competition at primary school. It could have been a trauma, but as I made a career in painting, I guess that disappointment didn't paralyze me. A the contrary I had students telling me they were left stranded for decades after a school teacher's cynical ruling on an art assignment: too good to be your work.
Feeling authorized
It's not easy to understand why we are so self confident in some field and feel terribly inadequate in others, although we're equally capable. My mother supported my talent and sent me to art school. But my father didn't approve and it took me years to free myself from his disapproval. And that recovery costed me some professional help. My sense of identity and my psychic balance were at stake. Whether I was good or not at painting was not the point, not my concerne.
Digging into emotions
My struggle was to give myself permission to become an artist in life. The minute I felt authorized, a huge relief happened and I ultimately took the road for the dream to come true! What I'd suggest to Silvia is digging a little into her emotions, especially if the fear of judgment is effecting other aspects of her life.
To begin with, I would do a little self interview, asking myself:
- What exactly am I afraid of?
- What concrete consequences would a negative judgment have?
- Would someone really look at my works and say out loud 'that sucks'?
- Has it actually ever happened that someone mortified me?
- What do I not feel adequate in: the subject? The technique? The style?
I'm sure that by honestly answering these five questions, Silvia can find insights to start removing the obstacles that block her. And take a path not to be too hard on herself and offer her art to the world without fear.
Happy Art Life! -- Francesco
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